6 Coping Skills to Help Balance Your Emotions
#1
Self-Soothing
Self-Soothing is defined as any behavior an individual uses to regulate their emotional state by themselves.
We learn to self-soothe as young children and carry those learned behaviors and tools with us into adulthood. You could be at work and begin to feel emotionally or physically overwhelmed. Or maybe you’re in a crowded room and feel a sudden burst of fear or anxiety. Self-soothing is designed to counter moments like these.
Self-soothing involves using one, or all, of your five senses. A well-known self-soothing activity is the “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” exercise. This exercise guides a person through each of the senses. The person looks for five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste. This exercise typically calms an individual almost immediately. Other self-soothing techniques are using a stress ball, listening to music, looking at photos, or smelling essential oils.
#2
Distraction
Distraction exercises can take your mind off of a problem temporarily.
They can distract you long enough to clear your mind and gather your thoughts. Sometimes we can get stuck in a negative emotion due to guilt or shame, or by just simply overthinking a situation. It’s important to note that there is a healthy type of guilt and shame. If we allow it to overtake our minds, it can be very toxic.
A few examples of distraction techniques include putting a puzzle together, creating a craft or art project, or even knitting or sewing. Keeping our hands busy is one of the best distractions. Busy hands can actually alter the brain’s chemistry, because it is more engaging for the brain. Your brain feels more rewarded if the project ends with a tangible item (such as a scarf), too.
#3
Opposite Action
Opposite action is a skill that involves choosing to do exactly the opposite of what your emotions tell you to do.
Let’s be real. We have all experienced emotions that have caused us to make choices we wish we hadn’t made. For example, have you ever felt sad and became passive, withdrawn or began to isolate yourself? If we don’t consciously choose the opposite action, we can really put ourselves into a dark and lonely place.
When you feel sad or down, try watching something funny on your phone or TV or reaching out to someone supportive that you trust. Sometimes we can get so lost in emotions, that we let ourselves forget that we don’t have to fix our problems by ourselves. When you feel like telling someone off because of how they treated you, say nothing for a bit. It can feel weird to return an insult with a compliment. Letting silence go by before you respond can save you from creating further heartache.
#4
Emotional Awareness
Emotional Awareness is the ability to identify and express your emotions.
Being irritable, oversensitive, or experiencing high highs or low lows can happen to anyone. The key is being self-aware. How can we fix something if we don’t notice it’s happening? We simply can’t. Knowing is half the battle, and the rest can only follow. You might find it helpful to log your emotions throughout the day. That way you can see what situations impact their emotional state the most.
Once you identify the things that impact your emotions, you can put a plan in place to diffuse. Journaling can be another great tool for self-expression and an emotional outlet. Writing and drawing are commonly used as a healthy outlet and produce extensive introspective knowledge of the self.
#5
Mindfulness
A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment.
This is done while also calmly acknowledging one’s feelings and thoughts. We’ve all been guilty of focusing on the future or staying stuck on something that happened in the past. The obsessive thought on a single situation can be unhealthy for us, especially on the front end of recovery. A few common options that really promote mindfulness can be walking, listening or meditation. When we take the time to slow down and go for a walk, the sounds and scenery help us clear our minds and focus on the present moment.
Mindful listening is also a tool that gets used very often, whether consciously or unconsciously. How often do we find ourselves listening to music that has some sort of effect on our current emotions? Or what about going outside and just listening to the wind blow or the birds chirping? We listen without judgment or criticism and are able to be more aware of our feelings and thoughts. This can also be a part of meditation. Focusing on breathing, participating in yoga or just sitting in silence are just a few ways of meditating.
#6
Crisis Planning
Crisis planning is exactly how it sounds.
We never know when crisis situations will happen. Being prepared and knowing your options is the best way to set yourself up for success. Our emotions can be a roller coaster ride on the front end of recovery. Bad days are part of life and there are many things outside of our control.
Planning for a crisis can include many things. Make sure to have supportive friends or family members on stand-by. Be sure to have their phone numbers written down, along with their availability. Have a plan for business hours, as well as in the middle of the night.
Make use of a therapist or primary care physician. It’s always a good idea to have the contact information written down for clinical providers. Maybe your medication has negative side effects, or maybe you need additional therapy. Use 24/7 crisis hotlines if needed. These can be local, state, or national lines.
