On the Outside Looking In

It’s important to understand that relapsing is a part of recovery and it’s very likely to happen. This is why awareness of the disease is so significant. It is vital to understand that this disease does not discriminate. It can be your neighbor or your best friend. It can be a person from a wealthy family in a great neighborhood or a person from a disadvantaged socioeconomic neighborhood.

Another thing to be aware of is that most individuals struggle with dual diagnosis or co-occurring disorders. This is when a person struggles with addiction and mental illness at the same time. Sometimes it’s hard to determine which one occurred first or which one caused the other. Half of the people who have an addiction have a mental illness or vice versa.

It can strain the relationships within the family unit. It can also cause financial issues and instability, putting the entire family at risk for all types of abuse. Abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, or psychological. Regardless of the presence of abuse, a life of addiction hurts more than just the person that’s struggling.

Trust is both the most important and hardest thing to get back. However, it can be done! For so many people, it’s difficult to ask for help or accept help when it is offered to them. Try to be as understanding as possible when giving advice, even if you disagree with their current efforts. Show continuous love and unconditional support, even when times are tough. Use direct, honest, and respectful communication to set clear and healthy boundaries.

They’re meant to be a safeguard for everyone. The point is to support a safe, supportive, and respectful environment for relationships with the ones involved. They create the space for everyone to express themselves in an honest and assertive manner. Boundaries, most importantly, protect each person’s own beliefs, values, and needs.

Boundaries can also define and limit behaviors that are and aren’t acceptable in a relationship. Having boundaries set, especially in codependent and toxic relationships is such a crucial step that should be taken in recovery. Setting these limitations means putting ourselves first. This is a huge part of the healing process. Too often we are overly concerned about other people, such as children or a significant other, and we neglect what our own body and mind need.

They can be physical, emotional, financial or even moral boundaries. What’s important is that they’re clearly defined, tangible, and actionable. Here are a few examples of healthy boundaries that you can implement with your loved one in recovery.

For most of us, the toughest part of setting boundaries isn’t defining them, it’s following through if they’re broken. We need to be clear on the consequences of breaking the boundaries set. Consequences could be cutting off communication, no longer allowing your loved one to live in your home, etc.

None of us enjoy seeing our loved one struggle, but there is a fine line between empathy and enabling. One of the best things you can do is seek support and accept that you’re not responsible for their actions. You can love from a distance and still take care of yourself.